In South Foulness, on the Nazareth Road, they give thanks for the day when the Beatified Mostyn Gorbals pissed down the Foulness vat-grown Messiah’s throat to save his life when his heart caught fire. December 25th is Drink-My-Urine Day in South Foulness. Which is why no one goes there.

The denizens of South Foulness now recognize each of their neighbor’s urine by its distinctive tang and pressure.

My name is Spider Jerusalem. And I fucking hate Christmas.

– Warren Ellis, Transmetropolitan
‘Edgy Winter’, a Christmas Special

On that cheery note, have a Very Merry Christmas.

PS: I like Christmas. But this is more fun than a normal message, isn’t it?